I had an epiphany the other day.
Organised snorkeling tours in the Galapagos where as part of a group you
encounter a couple of reef sharks the size of your leg:
Good.
Solo snorkeling off
the edge of some almost unpopulated mid pacific atoll, far from the
boat with a shoal of large sharks checking out how much effort it
will take to eat you: Bad.
Yup. Unexpectedly about
seven or so full sized black tipped reef sharks came in from all
directions. In clearer water than I could have ever imagined existed
they floated in from a far like some futuristic war machines. Total
stealth in movement and form. I knew sharks could sense fear, I knew
this type attacked a fellow snorkeler somewhere I had been three
weeks previous and I was too aware of the distance over a deep
channel back to the boat, so I set about trying to control my
heartbeat. They were so onto me as I inched myself back in the
direction of our boat. This isn't a place commonly snorkeled, I'm a colorful, moving, splashing, foreign object that's descended upon
their turf, these lads were hunters and they were not interested in
me for my personality.
I managed slowly to
exit stage left, never taking my eye off the closest and then entered
deep water to cross the channel back to the boat. Bricking it. Upon
return the relief of escape turned to a sense of a missed
opportunity. I'd been overmastered/ dominated by, on that day, the
higher species. A rare opportunity to hang out with majestic predators, missed, coz I hadn't had the peanuts.
 |
| It's two worlds and I've only the camera for one of them |
Recounting this to a
seasoned spear-fisherman that evening I got the required pep talk.
“This isn't a great white, it's just a black tipped reef shark.
Yes they are checking out how easy a meal you will be, but they don't
like effort, so if you adjust your behavior accordingly and become
the aggressor, they'll be no harm”.
Easier said than done.
That night I lay in bed
considering moments where I'd been similarly challenged and tried to
draw from those. What came to mind was 'takin it' to those Ecuadorian
vermin that had sneaked into my room and stole cash*. Traveling
makes you aware of your Scottish-ness like nothing else and it leads to situations where one appears to turn instinctively to stereotypes for strength. On that occasion in Ecuador and on this
again I went straight for Begbie (Robert Carlyle in the Scottish film 'Trainspotting'**).
 |
| Inspirational |
So in that sense I
chucked the proverbial pint glass over the balcony and set out the
next morning back over to the reef for the inevitable confrontation.
Eventually they arrived. Physically, I hovered tall in the water, not hunched together like
the day before. I held my arms out open wide but slightly lowered,
hands also open wide. I supplemented that with menacingly direct eye
contact and a forward stabbing motion of my head - right at
'em'. Mentally, I punctuated the stabbing motion with phrases a
little bit sharp for publication however along the lines of;
 |
| “Wh yi fcn lookin at?” |
“I'll bite yer face
ya wee hunt”
“Fcn come on then –
eh – eh”
“Come any fcn
closer and I'll rip you fcn wide”
I did stop short of
suggesting that they may “bring me ma cigarettes”.
You have no idea
just how successful it was. I stayed this time and enjoyed the show
(still bricking it really) but following the above any time one
thought it be hard enough to come see about 'avin' a go.
A true interaction back
down on a level where 'survival of the fittest' is still the rule.
And ultimately refreshing that even though I'm a pacifist at heart
I'm still in touch with my 'inner Begbie'.
Don't try this at the
weekend...
**I'm really sorry if
you read this and haven't seen Trainspotting (1996). I'd
wholeheartedly recommend it as a look into a darker side of Scottish
culture and with slightly more believable hard men than Groundskeeper
Willie from The Simpsons. If you
haven't the time then try below.
Must
watch
Not for the faint of
heart
No comments:
Post a Comment